I live in Brooklyn, so this wasn't really a world trip. Let me explain ,because boy, it was something I shalln't soon forget.

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See, this is me with my girlfriend, Rulia Joberts.
This is me and Rulia and the 23rd Annual Brooklyn Pig Roast and MDA Labor Day Telethon. I ate that whole pig in 45 minutes, without throwing up all over Rulia for almost a half hour!
But a week ago, Rulia broke up with me and started dating someone else. This is a picture of Rulia with her new boyfriend, Dipshit.
And so, I set out to win Ms. Rulia Joberts back. This is that story.